When Satire Fails You -- Or; Because Poking Fun of The Government Is a Patriotic Duty.

Not everything can be gloom-and-doom. Since satire has been a powerful tool since at the very least the days of the Modest Proposal, which was itself modeled after the style of the ancient greeks, it is always useful to remember to poke fun at our 'illustrious leaders'.

It is with this thought in mind that I bring you these three items, each drawn from the top online news items of today, September the 24th, 2007.

Forbes.com brings us, "The Biggest FDA Reform In A Decade":

You wouldn't know it from the lack of fanfare, but the Food and Drug Administration is getting its biggest overhaul in a decade in a dramatic coda to Merck's withdrawal of the blockbuster painkiller Vioxx three years ago.

A bill to give the FDA more power passed both houses of Congress with only a handful of no votes, and the president is expected to sign it into law. Because the bill is attached to the re-authorization of an important part of the FDA's funding, a veto is unlikely. If the law doesn't pass soon, FDA head Andrew Von Eschenbach is going to have to start informing staffers that their jobs are no longer funded.

The bill represents a victory for advocates of higher standards for making sure that drug side effects are known and promptly dealt with. Before Vioxx was yanked, some of the changes being made would be unimaginable. Until now the claims drug companies like Merck (nyse: MRK - news - people ) and Pfizer (nyse: PFE - news - people ) made about their medicines were, to a degree, negotiated. Labeling discussions between Merck and the FDA dragged on, and as a result, the agency will now be able to dictate what claims companies can make with much more force.

Now, hidden in this massive "reform" -- how a 'reform' can increase an agency's powers is news (pun intended?) to me -- also grants the FDA further ability to regulate the claims of unregulated herbals and nutritional supplements. But that's another story.

To shed a little more light on why this is ironic, consider the following, from boston.com:

Federal advisers who met last week to consider whether to restrict doses of popular antianemia drugs were themselves under scrutiny during the hearing. The Food and Drug Administration is considering a top-to-bottom reshaping of how it picks and uses the outside scientists who serve on the agency's advisory panels.

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen. The FDA has now exceeded the absurdity of Monty Python (check the 'subtitles'): Those who are reforming the reformation of the reforming process, have been reformed.


Brought to us by thegate.nationaljournal.com is, "Bush & Congress Face Off Over Appropriations & SCHIP":

Bush admitted that the last Congress didn't get all its spending bills passed on time and that the CR helped keep the government running while it finished the bills. Bush has never vetoed a spending bill -- but all the previous spending bills were sent up from a GOP-controlled Congress.

The remainder of the article discussed the increase of expenditure -- and of course Bush has made news by his warning the Democratic congress to "not overspend" -- when Bush's expansion of domestic spending under a GOP controlled congress has outpaced any presidency since LBJ.

You know, I was going to attempt a satirical retort to these items... but upon reflection, it seems they've really rather taken care of it themselves, haven't they? Meanwhile, our government is literally spending the nation into bankruptcy to the point where the Comptroller General of the United States -- that is, the Federal Government's Accountant -- an appointed office is campaigning the country trying to create awareness -- and nobody's doing anything about it. And is that registering in the news? Apparently not. Yet Mr. Bush has the gall to utter "Democrats, Control Your Spending!"

You're doing a heckuva job, Bushie.